Cancer – now what? Ten tips for family and friends

1. Signal: I’m here

The diagnosis of cancer for patients, their families, and friends a shock. Take the time it takes to process the diagnosis. This need is quite normal. In the long run, silence is not, however, often be misleading. You dare, to the Diseased reach out and ask you gently to his needs, As he or she experienced the current Situation? What you can do at the Moment, specifically, to make the Situation more bearable?

2. Do not take it personally

A cancer is not the end of it in a few days. Affected occurs during the therapy is often a lot of highs and lows. Phases of retreat and periods of close can alternate. Try not to take it personally if your Partner or friend to withdraw temporarily, or angry or sad. This does not mean that their support is undesirable. They indicate, instead, that you are always there when they are needed.

3. Get help

A cancer is not only physically, but also mentally stressful – even for members. If you notice that she brings the Situation to its limits, you should get help. A first point of contact can be the family doctor or a cancer advice. In many hospitals, there are auxiliary services, which are aimed at the Sick, but also to family members. Possibly a conversation in a self-help group will do you good. To recognise this support: Who is helping a lot, may even take self-help.

4. Are you looking for support in everyday life

Relatives, grandparents, or friends can be in everyday life, a great help, whether it comes to collect children from school, do the shopping or to cook. You need to not shoulder everything alone. Consider, to whom you can turn to when you are plaguing Fears or Worries.

5. Better not unasked rates

“I know that the friend of a friends had the same thing, and has helped him …”: advice as these are well-intentioned, can confuse Ill. Therapy recommendations and advice in relation to methods of treatment, or specialists can overwhelm Affected unintentionally. This is especially the case when you know exactly what the doctor recommends or what he advises against.

6. They Collect Information

“What helps partners, family and friends in almost all situations and phases of the Disease, information about the disease,” advises the German cancer research center. You have a desire to inform themselves, as the legitimate and understandable. The more you learn about the disease know, the less you will be afraid of the changing life situation. You want to give the information to a sick friend or Partner, please inquire at best, whether this is desirable. You may be able to support the Diseased individual, carefully-researched information – if this is for the person Concerned in order.

7. They respect boundaries and self-employment

Most likely, you tend to be completely according to the needs of the patient and to his every desire of the eyes. Try not to overdo it on the Affected with it – even, and especially, a sick person would only be to a certain degree supported. You don’t make any decisions over the head of the person Concerned, even if you think it is actually good. Instead, try to talk with the person about their needs and wishes and to let him in this way, targeted help.

8. Do not hide your fear and sorrow

Fear is a natural feeling in dealing with cancer. You as a family member or friend fear probably the most about to lose your loved one through the disease or have a fear of the future. The Sick person is scared, probably in pain or has to Worry about, such as the family without him to do. What is important is that these Fears and to talk openly about it. Tears belong and are an important “valve for the soul”.

9. Not everyone with Cancer wants to be a fighter

Try not to put the sick under pressure – for example, asking you to always think positively, or against cancer fighting. Some cancer patients like to motivate this idea, for others, it is rather distressing and triggers of pressure. Many Cancer patients advocate in dealing with the diagnosis is more of a factual, constructive word choice. But that must not apply to every Patients. Ask in case of doubt, and be gracious with yourself: It is not okay to always have the right words.

10. Beautiful moments allow

There will be days on which the disease, the Worries and Fears stand in the foreground. On other days, a piece of everyday life can return. You must, therefore, have a guilty Conscience, even if it should fall in the first Moment hard. You may enjoy nice moments, such as sports or Meeting with friends and draw strength from it. Only if you give yourself Eight, and you can be a long-term support for their cancer-stricken friend or Partner. You create possibility of the positive experiences for themselves and for the sick. Even small projects – for example, a trip with the family to help with the grief and Worry for a while hide.

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Sources:

German cancer research center DKFZ / patient guideline psycho-Oncology / “The blue guide – guides for members” of the German cancer aid and the DKG-cancer society